Growing up, I didn't get a lot of hugs - Wasn't our thing, so when people would try to hug me, I was really uncomfortable with it. My sister and I developed our own version of a hug that her boyfriend jokingly named a "Happy Harris Hug." It was our way of dealing with "huggers," without it being an ordeal. You know the kind of hug that lasts a split second, involves little to no body contact and is about as comforting as holding a dead rat!
Anyway, years later, and, after recognizing that, at some point, I might actually need or want to touch or be touched by another human being, I wrote this poem to share my hugging journey.
Happy Harris Hugs (10 a penny)
Got my rifle, got my knife, got my machine gun Stone-faced f*cker with with a strong suit on
You come my way love sucking greedy I can't stand your touch so f*cking needy
Nothing for you here, so move right along You telling me what I should do, you make me feel so wrong
I'll give you what you want That's what you want me to say Take your f*cking hug and now stay the hell away!
You make me cringe and my skin crawls you touchy feely mugs You flock like birds and steal from me my Happy Harris Hugs
You carry on, you take and take and cause in me a rift Just right then I kinda saw the fog clouds start to lift
I always felt you took from me, didn't stop until you're finished I'm left abused and feeling used my soul gouged and diminished
It's then that I discovered, that I too played a part In fact I have a gift inside, a healing heart
And now I see quite clearly without a doubt That my love is abundant and it won't run out
And what of you, you crazy fools, why did you all come back? To my stagnant pool to be refreshed and ask for what I lack?
You must be very patient or there's something deep you see That you'd leave empty hearted, worse, be rejected, shunned by me
Longing for connected hearts, a feeling just like home You clutch my body, searching, feeling just, cold, lonely stone
I thought I'd feel the difference now, and in fact I do What I didn't know, surprise!! is so, do, you!
There's freedom there, warmth and love, I guess an OK feeling ;-) Now I share them all the time, who knows who I am healing!?
And so the doors are open now, come and get your hugs I'll let you play inside my heart, my little love thugs!