"It hurts so good!” Has your boyfriend ever said anything like that to you in the middle of sex? If so, you know the depth of intimacy that can come from bondage, pain, and all that other stuff we call “kinky” or “S/M.” At Easton Mountain we respect and foster all the ways that two men can relate to each other “authentically and humanly,” to use the words of Martin Buber. Many of us have discovered that these ways do include spanking, flogging, suspension, and just about anything that one man can safely and consensually do with another man.
One of the biggest misconceptions about S/M is that the one inflicting pain, the “top,” is in control and is totally dominating the one receiving pain, the “bottom.” In truth, the bottom is in control. There may be a lot of play acting. In fact, one of the difficulties I've had in an S/M scene is when the bottom wants to dictate everything that I as a top am doing and still I must convincingly act like I'm dominating him.
I remember during the first S/M run I attended, waking up in the middle of the night with a passage from A Course in Miracles in my mind: “A teacher of God is anyone who chooses to be one. His qualifications consist solely in this; somehow, somewhere he has made a deliberate choice in which he did not see his interests as apart from someone else's,” and I said to myself, “That's a top.” Any relationship is a dance between power and intimacy, and the kink world is a place to explore that dance in all its varied dimensions.
If you're ready to explore your kink side in the atmosphere of physical and emotional safety that you know is created by Easton Mountain, check out Kink Odyssey (June 9-12).