by Mike Hands, Membership Director
Many of us felt nauseated, scared, and depressed. Even today, several days after the election results came in, I suspect most of us still feeling upset. No doubt we feel this upset on all levels -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
We – members of Easton Mountain and the greater LGBT communities -- are certainly not alone in our feelings of disappointment, fear, and outrage. (Keep in mind Hillary seems to have won the popular vote.) At times like these, it's important to pay attention to both our thoughts and emotional states of being -- for our thinking and high intensity feeling states, when congruent, create our reality. And the reality we create is never the president’s job; it is our own.
What can be very helpful is to remember the results you wanted if Hillary Clinton became president: if Hillary won and Donald lost, what would that have given us? What would that have meant for America? For the world? Hillary Clinton becoming president was a goal – a strategy -- you believed could help get us there. But please distinguish the goal and the desired result.
If we focus only on the goal of electing Hillary, the election of Donald Trump can seem like the ultimate loss. Yet, getting the results you want for America is still important, and valuable, and entirely possible. A goal is not the same thing as the desired result.
What results did you desire from electing Hillary Clinton president? What results did you want in preventing Donald Trump from becoming the President? These are what matters most.
Setting new goals, adopting additional strategies, identifying other options available, embracing empowering beliefs, and letting go of assumptions and expectations that distract from the desired result are the most effective way to move forward.
I am disappointed that Hillary Clinton did not win the election. I remind myself that electing Hillary president was just one goal to getting the results I want for America and for the world. I cannot afford to be attached to that goal right now. The stakes are too high. The emotional effect of dwelling on this too costly. As I relinquish any attachment to that goal of the past, I renew my commitment and focus on the results that I want to see for America, and indeed for the whole world.
Change begins with me. Gandhi taught that we need to be the change we want to see in the world. Know the result. Identify goals and strategies. Discover options for action. Guard your thinking and master your own emotional states of mind-body.
Presidents come and go. Good ones… bad ones… and everything in between. Imagining how awful and destructive things can be will not make us safer or help us create a better world.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross identified the stages we go through when we grieve. There is denial, anger, bargaining… depression… and eventually acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean you like what happened. It means you've come to a place when you can effectively choose your response and move forward.
I don't know about you, but I know that I am more committed to the results I want for America, the world, and my life. Yes, I'm even more committed to these results now because of the election results. I'm not comfortable handing the reins for creating our future over to Donald. And I know I'm not alone. Perhaps there is more unity and commitment in America now than before.
When human beings are in a state of profound emotion, the thinking we think and the stories we tell are especially capable of becoming hardwired into our neural networks and our biology. Yes, thinking is that powerful…science tells us… particularly when we're in intense emotional states. Be careful of your thinking and the stories you spin.
Here's something I've become convinced of because of the personal coaching I do with my clients. Our goals are really not that important. That's right, read that sentence again. Your goals are not really that important. What is important are the results that we want to get. Sometimes our attachment to our goals distract us from the results we most desire. It’s not about goals; it’s about results.
Whatever you focus on expands.
What are the results that you want for your life, for your country, for the world?
That will be my focus.