My partner and I have been together for more than 30 years. Early in our relationship we realized that we grew up on the exact opposite sides of the “body image” scale. Rob was the “fat kid” and Steve was the “skinny kid”. During Rob’s formative years, he experimented with many different diets – some with success and some not so much. Steve on the other hand remained thin and wiry, always being the last person picked for any team game in gym class for his lack of size. As we moved into our twenties, we both discovered the gym. At this point, neither of us had any sense about diet, nutrition or how to really live a healthy life. Maturity and much more experimentation and education have brought both of us to a state of health that is not just comfortable but one which will take us into the coming years with strength and vigor.
What is good health? What is Wellness? There are three main components to wellness - body, mind and spirit and not necessarily always in that order. Steve, being the skinny kid was mostly the result of his genetics. His body was manifesting the traits he inherited. Rob on the otherhand had issues with eating that had more to do with his mind and emotions than his physical body or DNA.
Both needed to know about nutrition. Steve wanted to learn about bulking up but he also needed to know what kinds of food were ultimately going to lead to better health. Rob not only had to learn how to eat to be at a healthier weight but he also had to understand why the M&M’s in the pantry kept calling his name and would not let him sleep at night. If you set physical goals for yourself but never deal with your mental saboteur you will continually fail and not know why. How do you know which part of you needs attention? How do you deal with what seems hidden from your consciousness?
Humans are complex. Humans have desires, longings and dreams that can’t be satisfied by looking out into the world. The outside world of will only confuse you more especially if you look to the entertainment industry and at all the beautiful celebrities and the lavish lifestyles you are told will make you happy. The answers are closer than you think. The answers to your deepest questions about your life are inside your being. It takes work to go inside and dig for the gold of your true self but it is the most worthwhile work you can ever do. “Whole person wellness” requires becoming familiar and comfortable with all the parts that make you up. To be deeply happy with who you are you need to discover the beautiful being you are under all the self-judgments and negative mind talk. Your journey to wellness is one that continues through the aging process and any health crisis. It continues until you take your last breath.
Steve, the skinny kid, found ways to eat that would add muscle to his frame in his 20’s and 30’s. Now in his fifties he has a different challenge to face: the fact that his metabolism has changed. Yes, gaining unwanted weight can and does happen. He must ask himself what he wants his body to look like and what he is willing to do to get their physically. Along the way, he may have to look at his concept of self-love and how to have a healthy view of himself at this stage of his life and not compare now to what was in the past.
Rob, the overweight kid, had to walk a fine line of discipline that sometimes took all the joy out of life. He had to look at his emotions, the way he thought and related in order to see food as something to enjoy and a way to nourish his body rather than a form of escape or an emotional crutch. He is still learning to look in the mirror and see himself as he is and not the overweight young version of himself.
Wellness is a personal journey that takes you on the road to self-exploration and deeper levels of personal satisfaction. Looking at every area of your life in an effort to gain clarity on what you do, why you do it and how making adjustments can bring you closer to whole person wellness is the best journey you will ever take. You are meant to be happy! If you can accept that as TRUTH, then what can you do to be happy? At times you need to step back and decide what happiness and wellness are for you as an individual. It is probably different from what is spoon feed to you by your surrounding culture. You can gain clarity by listening to your inner guide or your gut. You may need to develop new tools to break through your programming. You may need to break out of your routines and do something completely new. You might need a new support group who can challenge you to move forward.
The most important thing is to develop a deep belief that you are worth all the effort it takes to be well and happy. Your journey is all about you. Only you can decide how to live it.
Steve and Rob found they needed a certain amount of exercise and movement, a way of eating that supported their goals, time to reflect to foster their relationship with “S”elf and connection with like-minded humans to make the journey even more interesting and enjoyable. They continue to explore each day.
If you are seeking to find a depth of being that you know will help you cultivate a more satisfying state of body, mind and spirit, join Rob Dorgan and Steve Bolia for Easton’s Wellness Camp, June 14-18, 2017. Rob and Steve, along with four other soul seeking facilitators, will share their stories, and guide you through practices that have helped them. These new practices may very well help you in your quest for wellness.
Wellness Camp 2017 is an excellent opportunity to try on some new life techniques and spend time with like minded men. Be bold enough to say yes to being the best human being you can be everyday. You are worth it. You are!